Tips for Your Donor Search

Once you decide to use an egg donor to help create your family, the search for the right donor begins.  We know this part of the journey can feel both exciting and daunting, mixed with tons of other emotions.  Our intention is to help scale back the thousands and thousands of available egg donor profiles so you have a select number of prospective candidates to choose from.  This creates a list that is manageable to review and choose from and all profiles you’ll see are a direct reflection of the characteristics you hope to find.  
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We have been helping intended parents in this process for many years and have some suggestions for parents as they embark on the search.  We hope this helps you in yours!

• During your search, try to refrain from searching yourself.  It can add to the confusion and sense of overwhelm.  We search over 100 trusted agencies on your behalf. We are thorough, and you can be sure that by enlisting our help, you are doing all your due diligence to find your best egg donor matches available.
• Think about what you would want in a donor to help you feel that you resonate and feel comfortable with her, almost like you would of a close friend or family member.   You may want someone who resembles the recipient mother, or if you are in a male-male partnership, someone who resembles the non-contributing partner.  Every clients comes into a search looking for different things and our questionnaire helps us to get to the core of what’s most important in your search.  We look at ethnicity, hair color, eye color, height, body type, education, character/personality, interests, athleticism, creativity, and more.  You may also wish to have “must have’s” and “would be nice” for your criteria. Again, our questionnaire will help you fine tune this.
• If you are in a relationship, talk with your partner about the most important aspects of the donor for you.  You may not both agree, but knowing what qualities are most important to each other can help in the decision-making process.
• Talk with your clinic and doctor prior to beginning the search for any priorities in criteria they may have for you.  This helps to inform us of any specific medical criteria to include as we search. We know most clinic’s guidelines and will discuss any questions we have before embarking on your search.
• Schedule a call with your search consultant to understand the structure of the search and to share any other details you may feel are important to look for.  For example, perhaps your dimples are special to you, or the shape of your nose – let us know!
• As the search unfolds, if and when you see someone who feels potentially right for you, please ask us to inquire about her availability and any hold options the specific agency offers.  We prefer not to wait until the end of the search, as donors can be reserved quickly.  We can often hold someone for a limited period of time while continuing your search.
• As you proceed in the search, you may come to realize that certain criteria are more or less important than you initially thought.  Reach out to your search consultant to let them know of any changes in your criteria.  The search is ongoing and can be adjusted as you go forward.  No search is a one size fits all and we work collaboratively to help find your best possible matches.
• Keep in mind your eventual goal, which is to welcome your baby into the world and into your family.  It is easy to get trapped in the many details of the donor’s qualities and to second guess yourself as you review profiles.  I promise you this:  I have yet to hear one parent come back to me and say, “Well, we have our baby, but I wish I had chosen that other donor instead of the one we chose.”  Your child will be perfect for you, exactly yours. 
• If possible, enjoy the process!  I like to think of your search as a treasure hunt:  She is here, and we are following clues, seeking, and soon, finding the one for you!  We cannot wait to help you find her.

By: Cheryl Lister - Family Match Consulting Search Consultant and proud mother through the miracle of egg donation.  

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