Anyone who has ever struggled with infertility or is currently in the throes of it knows how challenging and emotionally draining it can all feel. The holiday season can intensify these feelings therefore we wanted to provide some tips to help navigate this often difficult time of year.

1. Don't be afraid to set boundaries with friends and family and prioritize self-care. This could mean declining certain events that may feel too overwhelming, or taking time for yourself to rest and recharge.
2. Try your best to stay in the present moment, especially during the holiday season. It is very easy to worry about all the "what ifs" you may encounter in the future, but trying your best to focus on the present moment can be helpful.
3. Find the things to be grateful for. Some days that might be a warm shower, or coffee date with a close friend, or the fresh air outside. Reflecting on anything you are grateful for, no matter how small or large, can help shift the focus away from infertility.
4. Seek out support. Infertility can oftentimes be a lonely and isolating experience, but it's important to always remember that you're not alone. 1 in 8 people experience infertility. Reach out to the supportive people in your life that you trust, consider speaking with a therapist who specializes in infertility, or joining a support group. RESOLVE is an incredible organization that offers support groups for people going through infertility throughout the country.

Self preservation, especially during this time of year is so important so remember to take care of yourself whenever possible. We at Family Match Consulting want to be a source of support to any of our clients who are struggling to please don't hesitate to reach out if we can be a resource to you in any way.

The Family Match Consulting team is working hard to stay informed of all COVID-19 updates as they relate to IVF, egg donation, sperm donation, and surrogacy.
 
We have notified all our current clients of new guidelines released by the American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), and we are in contact every day with our network of fertility clinics, egg donor and surrogate agencies, reproductive attorneys, mental health professionals and more.  While things have been rapidly changing, we are committed to providing our clients with all information that is relevant to their family building plans and goals.
 
Most of the clinics we have active cases with seem to be following the recent recommendation by ASRM to temporarily pause new IVF cycles.  While these clinics may not be issuing new treatment calendars or performing embryo transfer procedures, most of them are still accepting new patients, and conducting egg donor and surrogate consultations through video chat.  
 
Egg donor and surrogate agencies are allowing staff to work from home in order to adhere to social distancing while still working hard to recruit qualified egg donors and surrogates.  Most agencies are offering special accommodations for clients to hold candidates for longer periods of time than what’s typical so that clients can rest assured that their chosen candidate is ready to begin treatment as soon as their fertility clinic is ready to begin coordinating new cycles again.  In some cases, several steps forward can be taken after the match so that the egg donor or surrogate can get as far along in the process as possible. For example, some clinics are allowing donors and surrogates to have  psychological evaluations and consultations done with the physician through video chat, and sometimes legal contracts can be drafted in advance.  We will find out all options available so that our intended parents can get as close to the egg retrieval or embryo transfer as possible so that as soon as cycles resume, they will be ready to quickly move forward.
 
Because this crisis is changing daily on both federal and local levels, we suggest that intended parents stay connected to their clinic for updates on services provided and potential timelines for their cycles.  We are also here to help field questions and offer our perspective, for anyone who is navigating these complex waters. 
 
Family Match is still actively searching for egg donors and surrogates at this time and working closely with our network of agencies and our partner clinics to understand the best course of action for each match.  We will adapt our process with flexibility for any potential client that is embarking on the process of finding an egg donor or surrogate. 
 
We know this is a highly stressful time for everyone, filled with uncertainty and disruptions to our lives and plans.  Every person on our team is a prior infertility patient.  We know how every month can feel like a year when all you want is to finally have the family you have dreamed of.  We sincerely hope that any pauses that anyone encounters in their family building journey will be as short as possible. Infertility was never in our plan book, and COVID-19 most certainly wasn’t, either.  These are trying times, and we are here for you.
 
For any intended parent who has had their cycle or family building schedule impacted, our friends and colleagues at Fertility Counseling Center, Inc. are offering a one-time complementary virtual support session to help you process this unexpected and difficult time.  Session will take place on Saturday 3/28 from 9:00 am – 10:30 am PST.  To participate, please email: [email protected]. (Please note for our clients with privacy concerns, we are unsure what privacy settings will be used for this group session so please email us if you would like to participate and we will help you navigate it.)

Finally, our colleagues at Men Having Babies have put together this helpful FAQ page explaining the changes in our field both here in the US and in Canada.  Please review HERE.
 
We welcome any and all questions you may have at this time and are here to support you in any way we are able to.  Sending each of you big virtual hugs.

With love and support, 

​The Family Match Consulting Team

In recent years it has become possible to select frozen donor eggs, versus choosing an egg donor to undergo a fresh egg donation cycle.  Some parents are excited about the prospect of using frozen eggs due to the potential for cost and time savings, however it is important to understand the differences between the two options.
 
First, frozen embryos are considered quite strong or sturdy, whereas frozen eggs, prior to the sperm being introduced, are more fragile and typically do not survive the thaw at the same high rate as frozen embryos.  Dr. Marut from the Fertility Centers of Illinois states, “It may take 15 or more frozen eggs to eventually result in one or two good quality embryos due to attrition as eggs are thawed, fertilized, and either transferred or frozen again.”
 
Additionally, with frozen eggs, parents only have the option to receive a “batch” or a “cohort” of approximately 6 eggs.  Once the eggs are fertilized and then genetically tested, often times future parents only end up with maybe 1 or 2 healthy embryos which isn’t very reassuring, especially if the first embryo transfer is unsuccessful.  It’s also not the best outcome for parents who hope to have more than one child as it might be difficult to achieve with the limited number of eggs retrieved from the chosen donor.    A new article HERE from a recent study shares more information that may be helpful as you consider both options.
 
Given the much higher success rates of fresh donor cycles, we continue to advocate for fresh cycles at this time.  If you want to explore both options, our search includes the ability to search both fresh and frozen egg donors, and we’d be happy to talk through both options with you in further details. 
 
In fresh egg donor cycles, donors go through many tests that help to ensure a smooth process with potential for an excellent yield of eggs that lead to viable embryos.  These tests include, and are not limited to psychological evaluations, genetic screening, infectious disease screening, in person screening for STDs, drugs, nicotine, fertility markers, resting follicle counts and more.  While unfortunately there are few guarantees in the world of third-party reproduction, the number of gates your donor passes through increases your chances for viable embryos that can lead to a healthy pregnancy and birth.
 
On a personal note, I enlisted the help of an egg donor to help create my family.  I chose a fresh egg donor in order to have the highest chance of success for obtaining multiple viable embryos as I knew I may want two children.  The egg donor’s retrieval yielded approximately 40 eggs, which eventually became 6 viable embryos.  When my first embryo transfer occurred, the remaining 4 embryos were frozen.  I was told that they could likely remain viable for literally years and years.  It was reassuring to know they were there, and that there was a good chance that one of them could become my second child.  Sure enough, three years later, one of them did become my now 7-year-old sparkling daughter, Michelle.  In a way, my two daughters are “conceptually twins,” having been conceived at the same time, although they are three years apart!
 
Please let us know if you would like to discuss the two choices in more detail.
The field of third party reproduction is an ever changing, evolving science.  We keep up to date on research in order to best guide you forward on your path towards creating your family.


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By: Cheryl Lister - Family Match Consulting Search Consultant and proud mother through the miracle of egg donation.  

Once you decide to use an egg donor to help create your family, the search for the right donor begins.  We know this part of the journey can feel both exciting and daunting, mixed with tons of other emotions.  Our intention is to help scale back the thousands and thousands of available egg donor profiles so you have a select number of prospective candidates to choose from.  This creates a list that is manageable to review and choose from and all profiles you’ll see are a direct reflection of the characteristics you hope to find.  
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We have been helping intended parents in this process for many years and have some suggestions for parents as they embark on the search.  We hope this helps you in yours!

• During your search, try to refrain from searching yourself.  It can add to the confusion and sense of overwhelm.  We search over 100 trusted agencies on your behalf. We are thorough, and you can be sure that by enlisting our help, you are doing all your due diligence to find your best egg donor matches available.
• Think about what you would want in a donor to help you feel that you resonate and feel comfortable with her, almost like you would of a close friend or family member.   You may want someone who resembles the recipient mother, or if you are in a male-male partnership, someone who resembles the non-contributing partner.  Every clients comes into a search looking for different things and our questionnaire helps us to get to the core of what’s most important in your search.  We look at ethnicity, hair color, eye color, height, body type, education, character/personality, interests, athleticism, creativity, and more.  You may also wish to have “must have’s” and “would be nice” for your criteria. Again, our questionnaire will help you fine tune this.
• If you are in a relationship, talk with your partner about the most important aspects of the donor for you.  You may not both agree, but knowing what qualities are most important to each other can help in the decision-making process.
• Talk with your clinic and doctor prior to beginning the search for any priorities in criteria they may have for you.  This helps to inform us of any specific medical criteria to include as we search. We know most clinic’s guidelines and will discuss any questions we have before embarking on your search.
• Schedule a call with your search consultant to understand the structure of the search and to share any other details you may feel are important to look for.  For example, perhaps your dimples are special to you, or the shape of your nose – let us know!
• As the search unfolds, if and when you see someone who feels potentially right for you, please ask us to inquire about her availability and any hold options the specific agency offers.  We prefer not to wait until the end of the search, as donors can be reserved quickly.  We can often hold someone for a limited period of time while continuing your search.
• As you proceed in the search, you may come to realize that certain criteria are more or less important than you initially thought.  Reach out to your search consultant to let them know of any changes in your criteria.  The search is ongoing and can be adjusted as you go forward.  No search is a one size fits all and we work collaboratively to help find your best possible matches.
• Keep in mind your eventual goal, which is to welcome your baby into the world and into your family.  It is easy to get trapped in the many details of the donor’s qualities and to second guess yourself as you review profiles.  I promise you this:  I have yet to hear one parent come back to me and say, “Well, we have our baby, but I wish I had chosen that other donor instead of the one we chose.”  Your child will be perfect for you, exactly yours. 
• If possible, enjoy the process!  I like to think of your search as a treasure hunt:  She is here, and we are following clues, seeking, and soon, finding the one for you!  We cannot wait to help you find her.

By: Cheryl Lister - Family Match Consulting Search Consultant and proud mother through the miracle of egg donation.  

Our consultants are on standby waiting to help you find the best possible egg donor to help you on your journey towards becoming a parent.  Call now for a free consultation.  818-495-0203. 

Family Match Consulting was proud to participate in an upcoming documentary about egg donation and surrogacy.  More details to come!  

This text came from a client we had worked with to help find an egg donor.  She had endured numerous failed IVF cycles and had lost almost all sense of hope.  I'll never forget her strength and perseverance as we worked together to find an egg donor that fit her unique criteria.  We found a great donor, and the cycle went beautifully.  Messages like these are what drives us to show up and work hard, every day.  We are grateful to every single client for allowing us to have a small part in assisting them on their journey to a family.